A Pride of Friendship

[This reflection was presented at the wedding of Pamela Pride and Mark Champe.]

Today we gather to celebrate publicly the blessed beginning of a lasting commitment. Human attachments present bewildering complexity, and with important and mysterious elements.    

 Most commonly we claim to marry for Love.  But strangely, the English language has only one big word for that reality.  At the top,  the Scripture declares that “God is Love” (I John 4:10).  In the middle, the final insight of Dante’s Paradise is a blinding vision of glorious light and the recognition that God is the Love that moves heaven and earth.  On a less exalted note our popular song claims that Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage/ Go together like a horse and carriage.   

In contrast to English, the richer Greek language has three important, and interlocking, words for love.  (1) The first is Agape, forever-giving love, exemplified by the Love of God who is willing to die for his children, as are many parents.  (2) the second term, Eros, defined as forever-grasping love, needs no additional exposition in a culture saturated with the subject.  (3) the third Greek word for Love is Philia–the most, various,  complicated,  robust, necessary, and most neglected form of human attachment.  Philia can be defined as forever-giving to and forever desiring of the happiness of another person.  In English the power and mystery of Philia is usually, and inadequately, translated as deep Friendship.I learned a great deal about friendship from the Father of this bride. Thus, friendship is both a tribute to the past and good advice for the future.  

Years back, our family was asked to leave three different Pittsburgh churches because they did not want to deal with our handicapped son. At his church, The Rev. Dr. Douglas  Pride, made sure that Gary’s special needs were met, and he was warmly welcomed.  On our way home that day, Gary told us how nice it was that nobody had cursed him..A wise man once said that the good shepherd leaves the 99 in order to  find the lost and neglected sheep.  Leaving 99  is bad business practice unless you have an undershepherd to care for the 99 while you are gone, but we all understand the point.  

In English (1) a gathering of geese is called a Gaggle; (2) a gathering of crocodiles is called a Float  (3) a gathering of penguins is called a Waddle; (4) a gathering of lions is called a Pride.  Here assembled is a Pride of Friends or Friends of  Prides to which we all belong.  

Every human being knows that Love and Marriage is a Many-splendored Thing with many-splendid levels.  Doubtless, the most stupendous claim for the commitment and attachment of husbands and wives is found in the Gospel according to an earlier Mark (10:8) “the two shall become one flesh.”  Indeed, we are enabled to love because Christ first loved us (I John 4:19).  

When I was a kid we used the word “conniption” a lot.  Life was filled with conniptions. We do well this day,and every day, to recognize and remember when attached to the other great blessings you are able to marry your best friend.